Nicknames

Neil was particularly fond of calling celebrities by their nick names. "Pat Swayze," "Billy Shakespeare," are a few examples.

Anderson Cooper

We were all discussing news anchors and how they looked. Someone mentioned Anderson Cooper and Neil summed it up perfectly: "He looks like the soul of a birch tree!" Literally nobody could have said it better.

Fake Comment Neil Posted Under My Blog Post about John Grisham

pelican is ma joint right now..T2K was amazing, we can't follow it up with some gay assed mainstream bullshit,specially from tha grish...it was funny how before he even realized it was her he was smackin her butt

Positive Energy Activates Constant Elevation..

McSweeney's List!

Neil was one of the geniuses who got a list published on the McSweeney's website and of course it was one of the best ever. Here it is:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/boardgames.html

L E S S P O P U L A R
B O A R D G A M E S .

BY NEIL CHAMBERLAIN

- - - -

Slumlord
Mathemagic
Ennui
Chute and Chute
Fourth Reich
Kashlonk!
Scott Baio's Haunted House
Cannibal Adventure
Really Fucking Sorry
Tax Cheat
Electronic Swearing Battleship
Prostate Operation
Negro League Championship
Spork Factory
Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Spouses
Gajoink!
For the Love of God, Don't Wake Daddy!
Pet Rock Divorce Court
Desperation
Abrasive Egg-Timer Challenge
Save the Guggenheim!
Uncle Wiggly is Dead
Monopoly with Grape Juice All Over It and the Goddamn Chance Cards All Stuck Together

One Night at the McKibben Lofts

We got home at like 4:30 in the morning. I was so tired and had been wanting to go to sleep for hours already. Neil was, at that time, not really so into sleeping. We finally got home to that disgusting building and into his disgusting little chamber and I crawled miserably, in exhaustion, up to his nasty loft bed and pulled the dirty covers up to my chin. This might surprise some of you, but I was acting kind of bitchy. Neil climbed up and lay down next to me. All the lights, and also music, were still on. It was bright and noisy as hell. I said, Neil, what the fuck? Could you please turn off the lights and the stereo? He rolled his eyes and was like, Fine. He climbed down off the loft and turned off the lights, then climbed back up next to me. I was like, good night, you little jerk. I closed my eyes. A strange sensation hit my eyelids. I opened my eyes. Neil was lying propped up on one arm, blasting a little flashing light-up whirling pinwheel in my face. I was like, WHAT THE FUCK? He was smiling at me. "What? Is this bothering you?"

Words of Caution

Me: I'm so glad I got a cat! Now I won't ever be alone!

Neil: I have a real problem with that logic.

Neil's Favorite Andy Samberg Digital Short

Was the Reba McEntire one where Kenan pretends to be Reba by taking a red wig out of a dumpster and gets Andy to fall in love with him/her despite the fact that all his friends are telling him she/he is a (black) man.

We would often be hanging out and one of us would say, Let's just watch that Reba one a few times. Neil often pointed out that the song was "actually a really good song." I found the experience of watching this video with Neil both mesmerizing and comforting.

Sargeant Sargeant

Was the name of a teddy bear Neil and I got when we were in San Francisco, because we sometimes felt lonely.

Something Neil Enjoyed Thinking About

Was how Garfield was always jonesing for Lasagna, and was very lazy to boot.

The Most Often-Suggested Meeting Place, Perfect For All Occasions

Applebee's, Times Square.

And of course...

Making a fart noise to indicate a half-assed male orgasm is almost always in order.

Example: Neil thought that the last shot of "Where the Wild Things are" should have been that noise as Dave Eggers jerked off into our face.

I Know, Right???

Neil thought this was a dumb thing that people say all the time.

Hence we said it all the time.

xoxo

"Boner M'Lady?"

Neil's Response to The Heinous Preview for this Movie

"Looks good but not great."

Tessa

Neil on the birth of his niece Tessa (the first girl born after three boys):

"I'm going to dote on her to the exclusion of the others."

"There's nothing better than watching videos with someone you love." - N.C.

The last videos he brought to our attention:

Insane Clown Posse, Miracles
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, I-Jammer and E-Bumper

Please add to this list!

Neil's Review of Treme

"treme was pretty good but it should have been set in bmore. & it should have been about marlo stanfield and been awesome"

A Classic Neil Response to An Invitation to A Play I Wrote

"i think i read about this somewhere...the mannequin comes alive, right? anyway i can't make it; i will be getting a B.L.O.W. J.O.B... ever hear of it?"

Songs That Remind Us Of Neil

I Like To Move It Move It (Emma and Neil and I performed an original dance to this song for our writing camp talent show at UVA)

Crazy Town, "Butterfly" (especially the video)

Eminem "Without Me" (especially the part about Moby)